Im tired of the way people look at me in public places, school, whatever, It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, Im kind, I aknowledge them with a cheerful grin while they return it with a scowl. It leaves only the taste of HATRED towards them.
I smile because inwardly Im not some cheerful idiot I smile because inside, Im laughing. Im laughing at you for being such an Idiot. You think this acctually EFFECTS me??? It doesn't , I am stronger than a grim face. I know what I can do, and I don't need you'r frickin approval for gods sake.
You can glare at me all you want. I'll laugh. I laugh in your face. You may think Im a madman. To laugh at spite. But I'm not.
I deal with this easily. I pretend Im unaware of the fact that people think Im different. Im not pretty like all the other girls, dont you dare say I am. Im different. I may say Im ugly. But I like that. Ugly is Beauty. For I am not vain.
Laugh at me all you want, call me names that are just words, that have no meaning. Call me a lesbian, call me emo, call me a goth, make fun of my hair, throw something at me, hit me. I dont f-ing care anymore.
But I'll have you know, if your the next person to confront me with a harsh bestoment, I don't care. I'll grin. I'll smirk. I'll laugh. I'll even cry you a puddle of freaking joy- tears.
You will not effect me. Something so small as someone who has to lower someone else. Will.NOT.effect.me. Try as hard as you want.

I said it wouldn't effect me, right?

Can you tell its a lie?!

I'm finally breaking down. This ridicule, it's so hard to take. I hate this. I don't know what to do. Im not fucking emo, Im not writing this to show I am. Im just crying because everyone feels hurt.
Those beautiful girls that can get away with anything need to aknowledge the fact that yes we do think your pretty, we are scared of you for it. Just leave us alone, leave all of us that are trying to find themselves alone! I can't deal with any other issues. Stop the discrimination towards gender race sexuality, stop the stereotyping, stop the suicides and the murders.
Kill our egos, kill our hope.
Everyone has feelings, some need to except that. Im no longer going to mask my emotions.
What I do now will strictly be based upon what I feel. Emotions should rule us. If Im sad, you'll know it. If Im angry, you will know it.
This is how I feel. Im tired of being bubbly, giddy and laughing, only to be the quiet girl who has to do this facade to earn friends. It's not fair. I want to be able to gain peoples appreciation, with me. This has went on long enough.

Now, Please except me for who I am